Dear Rookie Traveler

That’s you, Rookie, if you travel 3 times or less per year. It’s holiday travel time and this is when things become a little cumbersome for road warriors. So as my Christmas gift to you, I thought I’d share my (seems like annual) list of tips and tricks for holiday travel:
1. If you packed your bag and you can’t lift it over your head, check it or repack it to a weight that you can lift. The team approach for shoving your stuff in the overhead bin is a giant time waster and the tall chick always gets clunked in the head.
2. Wear slip on shoes. Yeah, I know 0.1 miles to the gate might seem like a call for sneakers, but it’s not. When you don’t have a rhythm for how things get laid down on the conveyor belt so they get picked up quickly, you are delaying the line. Yes, you are.
3. Don’t wear a belt. Put it in your carry on for later if you must. The belt paired with the sneakers and the too-heavy-to-lift-carry on is too much. (Are you visualizing this scenario? It is you.)
4. Don’t complain. No travel warrior nor flight attendant nor gate agent wants to hear the story of how much it sucks to have to [fill in the blank]. We deal with TSA, FAA, and delays every week. Just try to be nice and you will get where you need to go.
5. There is a plane exit protocol. Here’s the deal- we are ALL in a rush connecting to another flight. You talking about it for 25 minutes in a panic on full volume when your flight leaves after mine does not entitle you to push your way to the front of the plane. Each row goes in order. You know, like first grade? IN ORDER.
6. Headphones if it makes sound please.
7. The bathroom exit. Look, if you pull yourself up by grabbing the seat in front of you, it’s really unfun for that person. Here’s my tip- use the armrest and lean on YOUR seat. No one gets jetted backward spun into fury thinking about retaliatory antics like reclining.
8. Speaking of reclining, really? It’s still uncomfortable. As someone who’s had their laptop broken, if you MUST recline, take a look behind you and give a heads up to the schmuck behind you that just found a reason to slam her tray closed a hundred times.
9. Inside voice please. I know, airplanes are exciting! It causes some people to want to talk and talk. And that’s great. Go ahead but if I can hear you after blaring “Rude” by Magic, it’s not a courteous volume.
10. Say thank you. We all appreciate good service and politeness goes a long way.
Happy Holidays!

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3 Responses to Dear Rookie Traveler

  1. Gregory Gowans says:

    Great advice.

  2. Girl Gone Expat says:

    I would be so happy if people stopped grabbing the seat in front of them to go to the bathroom. Several times it has happened that people have done this and have grabbed my hair (pulling some of it off!) at the same time.

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